Marriage Reflection
All questions are on this page but you can download a PDF here.
God brought you together
Talk about how it was that God brought you together as a couple. As you look back – what people or circumstances were significant. The discussion needn’t be super serious! You can smile and laugh with each other at what it was that first attracted you to each other and what events were important - even if they didn’t seem important at the time.
Pray: Thank God for the way he used different people and circumstances to bring you together.
God brought you together to help and love each other
Talk about some ways in which you are helped by your spouse – practically, emotionally or spiritually. Share what help you particularly appreciate from one another. As individuals, consider if there are things that you feel you don’t help your spouse with enough. Are there things you would appreciate more help with? (As you share these things remember to speak the truth in love!) Could you together be helping someone else more?
Pray: Thank God that you can help each other. Pray that you would help each other more and more.
In Tim Keller’s book ‘On Marriage’ he references Judson Swihart’s book - How do I say “I love you?” Keller writes,“Swithart gives an illustration of a German speaking man who says ‘I love you’ to a girl who speaks only French. He is loving her but she doesn’t feel it because it is conveyed in a language she doesn’t understand. He goes on to argue that each of us have certain ways we want and particularly appreciate love to be expressed to us. They are our love languages. It is crucial to discover your spouse’s most valued languages and become fluent in them even if they are not similarly important to you.”
Below are 7 ways someone might express love. Without yet sharing your answers – mark them 1 to 7. 1 = you would feel most loved by this action (you’re speaking my love language) 7 = this would not be my preferred way for love to be expressed (this isn’t my love language!)
A gift of some new clothes
An evening in together
Speaking well of you in front of others
Organising your holiday
Saying thanks for cooking dinner
Holding your hand on a walk
Tidying the house
Once completed see if you can guess what your spouse marked as 1, 2 and 6, 7. Share one or two ways (not form the list above) that you really appreciate your spouse showing their love for you.
Pray: Ask that you would grow in love for each other and express in ways that can be understood.
And finally...
Living in Lockdown brings challenges and opportunity for married couples. For most of us we are spending more time together than we normally do.
The challenges...
Watch the video from Nicky and Sila Lee about coping as a couple during Coronavirus.
Video - How to cope as a copy during Coronavirus
The opportunities...
Discuss and decide on something that you want to do together during this period. Make a date for doing or planning it. Some suggestions are below - but you may have other ideas.
Read Tim Keller’s book – ‘On Marriage’ (available from the Good Book Company).
Each of you teach the other how do something that currently only one of you can do.
Memorise a Psalm
Write a joint letter/card to one or two people in your lives who have shown you love or who helped bring you together. Thank and encourage them.
Put together a photo album!